Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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