we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
