Just cropdusted the office
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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