just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
