But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
