Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
