stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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