no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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