well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
