I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
