anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
