So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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