I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
