Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
