Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
