he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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