my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
