I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
