I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
