I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
