Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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