I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
