HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
How external is "for external use only"?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
