My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
