Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
