It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
