I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize