I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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