I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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