I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
