You made me cry and you don't even care
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
