I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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