I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
