No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
