She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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