Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I looked at my own cervix.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize