Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
