I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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