so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
