Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize