Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
