how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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