Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
