Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
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I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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