I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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