I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
