I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
