is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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