My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
