Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize