maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
