i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
