just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
