He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
