...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again