Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial