so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
