she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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