im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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