just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
