weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Randomize
