He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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