Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
