i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
