Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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