she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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