yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
