yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
